How to Survive Thanksgiving with your Family

How to Survive Thanksgiving with your Family

Prepare yourself

Prepare yourself ahead of time by practicing relaxation techniques, meditating, or stocking small bottles of liquor in your socks, pockets and sleeves.

Tip: If you are seeing a therapist, now would be a good time to book an extra appointment or two.

Be Ready to Break Out in Song

It might cure everyone’s prejudices and bring harmony and unity to everyone present. Or at least it will drown out the arguing.

Plan Preemptive Strikes

Plan counterattacks for the questions that you know are coming. Maybe your mom pries into your love life, and your dad asks, “When are you going to get a real job?” Have responses pre-prepared regarding your dalliance with a cute doctor, and your nominations to receive a Nobel Peace prize.

Play Mind Games

When it is time for everyone to say what they are thankful for, have a sentimental spiel prepared about the person at the table you dislike most. It will completely throw them off guard.

Avoid Dish-Duty at All Costs

Show up to dinner wearing a bandage. Prepare a story about how you were injured, but leave it vague. Emphasize that you are not allowed to remove the bandage or get it wet.

Try Tryptophan

Avoid confrontation with your loved ones by sleeping. Initial drowsiness can be achieved by watching TV and sitting around for hours, drinking too much red wine and eating excessive amounts of tryptophan-laced turkey. This combination leads straight to a Thanksgiving-coma which leaves you blissfully bypassing all family interaction.

If all else fails - Ditch your family and join the hordes of shoppers looking for Black Friday deals, sometimes a slow and painful death from getting trampled by the crowd is better than dealing with all the family drama in the first place. 

Happy Thanksgiving! Let us know how you survive Turkey Day HERE

How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse on a Motorcycle

We all know what happens in the near future…we have seen it in “I am Legend,” “World War Z,” and “The Walking Dead.” The time will come when the world as we know it will be no more, and our very species will be threatened. Zombies, vampires, worldwide epidemic, alien invasion or machines with a surreal similarity to Arnold Schwarzenegger, the future is clear: our world will be overtaken. Zombies or no, it’s just a matter of time.

1. Choose your ride

Transportation will be quintessential. Navigating head-banging traffic from the max exodus of people flocking desperately to safety. Travelling long distances efficiently, as gas becomes a highly valued commodity. Being able to squeeze through tight spaces that would be unattainable to four-wheeled counterparts. And let’s be honest, this is the zombie apocalypse. If we lose our desire to swagger over to a sweet ride, what do we have left? My vehicle of choice is a motorcycle. If you have doubts, you need to re-watch the “Terminator” series.

 Imagine the destruction that will ensue as the world learns that the end is coming. Not to mention that the undead tend to have little respect for things like road laws and buildings. Perhaps there are earthquakes, damaged water pipes, collapsing bridges or falling road signs. Suddenly you need to overcome rough terrain.  You need a bike that can hop curbs, maintain stability over debris, and not be sequestered to the road. You need a dual sport.

2. Readying the Zombie-mobile

Our modern-day vehicles will simply not suffice as we combat the walking dead. We need to be equipped a few modifications in order to prepare our dual sport for life on the run. And then of course there’s the sheer style factor that you look like you came straight out of “Water World.”

Most important: gas. Because stations will be quickly depleted, siphoning leaves you immobile and vulnerable, and it is a resource that you will need consistently. You will need an aftermarket tank to increase your range.

Dual sports typically come with tires that are designed for primarily off-road use. Since are requirements are flexible and largely unknown, a more balanced tire would be ideal. Chances are that a 50/50 of off-road to on-road capabilities would be appropriate.

Next, the ability the haul your gear. This type of bike tends to be limited in this capacity. Adding reinforcement gussets or modifying steel tube frames via welding would be a good idea, and not hard to do if you know what you are doing. Then a combination of soft, waterproof bags and lockable containers will allow you to transport your necessities. The lock is for the people who did not read this article and are desperate for your genius forethought.

Last is aftermarket protection for your bike. After surviving a zombie encounter, the last thing you will want to worry about is damage to you or your motorcycle. Hand guards will protect your critical levers as well as your hands, which you will need to defend yourself from undead cannibalistic freaks. Then crash bars for the frame and engine.

3. Weaponization

The fun part is choosing your weapon. You will definitely want a knife that can be multi-purposed to cutting wood or securing shelter. But hopefully you will not to be within close enough range of the undead to need to use it on them. Whatever your method of self-defense, you will want a holster or other means to secure it to your bike.

Long Ride Shields is currently working on an apocalypse windshield for Harley Davidson Motorcycles. In addition to the built-in laser beams and heads-up targeting system, optional features include forward-facing Claymore mines.

4. Bring only what you need to survive 

You will want to bring only the minimal essentials. Extra gear will slow you down and make you a target. Water and shelter will be the necessities.

You will either have to bring or find water. Minimum amount for survival is a gallon a day. It is unrealistic to carry more than two gallons on your zombie-mobile, so prepare yourself with materials to collect and treat water.

*Note: during a zombie apocalypse, seemingly clean water sources are commonly infested with pathogens known to cause diarrhea, vomiting, dehydration, lack of brain function, creepy eyes, being covered in blood, and cannibalism.

“Shelter” includes a tent, supplies and materials to make protection from the elements, and clothing. This varies by region so you will want to carefully observe your climate and make-shifting capabilities as you consider your collection of layers. You will definitely want extra socks and undergarments. As they say in Zombieland, “always have an extra pair of underwear.” Plus, you will want good motorcycle gear, as it will also protect you on the road and from voracious zombie attacks.

There are a few additional items you will want to have. Food, for example. Technically humans can survive about a month without eating, but you will want sustenance to improve energy levels, mental capacity and your Kung Fu skills (because, let’s face it: you need all the help you can get). Protein or energy bars are ideal and seem to have no expiration date. Bring a lighter and at least one other method for starting fires. Include a basic tool kit should you need to make repairs to your bike, and you will probably want to slime-line your tires now. If not, I’ve heard zombie brain works great.

How will you survive the zombie apocalypse?

Share with us on our Facebook page HERE

HELP US HONOR OUR VETERANS - Post your veterans pictures!

Part of the purpose of this blog is to "Remember" - and to log the world around us as it is and to recollect how it was.

As we will be celebrating our veterans who have fallen and served before us on Veterans Day it is part of our ethos at Long Ride Shields to recollect them and memorialize them and their images so that we can continue to honor them.

Please help us honor our veterans and fallen hero's by posting your veterans image or a story to our Facebook page, or email it to us.

POST IT HERE - LRS Facebook page


Email us here: longrideshields@gmail.com



As a continued effort to honor our veterans Long Ride Shields will be throwing all of our products and the largest sale we have ever thrown, Please understand that Veterans day to us is not about making money, it is about honoring our forefathers and Hero's the best way we know how.



Thank you to all who wear the uniform or who protect us while we sleep peacefully in the night.

MILITARY TRIBUTE VEHICLES

My travels this past week took me to Motor Head Heaven - That's right .... the SEMA show in Sin City Las Vegas.  One of my favorite displays was this jeep with .50 Cal on top. - I thought the display was appropriate for several reasons, chief among them was that Veterans day was just a few days away.


The SEMA show is probably the most premiere and certainly the largest automotive and accessories show in the world, and they have everything from 3D printed cars, to Bugatti Veyron, I spent two full days there and still only made it around to about 25% of the booths and sights. Although the influence with motorcycles at this show is somewhat limited, I still saw and experience a great deal of the mega cool and the spectacularly awesome.

One of the best things that I saw at the show was a military tribute vehicle, designed and painted to commemorate the fallen Navy Seals and team mates of Marcus Lutrell, Author of Lone Survivor which was a book dedicated the account of the events that took place in Afghanistan with his team of Navy Seals.

Seeing this vehicle made me remember a windshield we worked on for a 911 tribute motorcycle not so long ago and has inspired me to go on an internet search for other Military tribute bikes and cars and to post them here for your enjoyment.

Chevy Camaro Tribute Car

http://www.blogs.va.gov/VAntage/11791/mobile-tributes-travel-across-u-s-to-honor-special-operations-units-k-9s%E2%80%99-100th-anniversary/

Adventure Harley Riding - Where would you go?

I was cruising the internet tonight reading stories about some of the more adventurous Harley riders out there and came across this story, it was motivational to some degree. Im allways impressed at the things people will do with a bike meant for just for asphalt.

Im posting this story I found on Horizons Unlimited, an awesome blog - Credit due to the author who wrote the piece, I just wanted to share it and pose the question ---- If you could or wanted to..... What exotic place would you take your bike?

Tell us where you would take your bike by posting it on our Facebook page

http://facebook.com/longrideshields

Dean Bordigioni, USA, to South America, Harley-Davidson,

"I've been riding my 2001 Harley-Davidson Dyna Police Special from San Francisco, California to Tierra del Fuego and home, on and off again, for the past two years. The only way I could run my business and scamper about South America on a bike was to ride for three or four weeks, store the bike with a dealer-friend, then fly home for six months, then back and forth yada yada. It didn't work out, aduanas and all not liking an expired bike visa, so I sold my business, Golden Gate Harley-Davidson, eight months ago and have pretty much been on the road since.

Since it is an unusual choice for this crowd, I feel I should also address the why in selecting a Harley. Obviously being a dealer advanced this position, but way before throwing my life and wallet into my passion, I was an enthusiast. I like and prefer the mechanics, even the mechanical tintinnabulation of a pushrod engine. Archaic, noisy (mechanically, I prefer stock pipes), heavy and relatively underpowered, it does, however, maintain that untenable quality of sitting in a '57 Bel Aire and closing the door. You know you closed that door. I've also ridden Harley's for almost 20 years, and even though being a poor natural mechanic, can keep them running under most circumstances. After 250,000 miles on everything from my '47 Knucklehead to my 'Bocito', ...my South American steed, I'm just used to riding a big fat Harley. So there.

My 'enduro' Harley, slightly modified with full undercarriage skid plate, dual-sport wheels and spare gas tank, has weathered a lifetime's riding of desert sand and rain forest mud and creek and river crossings and hotel staircases and on and on and is now safely with me in San Pedro de Atacama, Chile. We've successfully endured 20,000 miles from San Francisco, California to Tierra del Fuego and the end of the road. We're now predominately pointed north towards the sunny Golden Gate and my sweet little fem Victorian high atop a hill in The City By the Bay.

Since this route has been well documented in literature and this web site by far more adventurous motorcyclists than myself, I'll keep to the somewhat anachronistic glory and tragedy associated with my particular steed and circumstances.

Lovely ride through the most remote of the Valley Elqui, then a long gravel road through surreal beautiful country. It was amazing. Somewhere in the very high altitude (the pass was about 15,000 feet) I acquired a bad case of altitude sickness and I guess the lack of oxygen to the brain makes you paranoid. Top that off with the most frightening road I've ever been on, sheer cliffs and gravel and falling rocks, all drugged with the sickness. It was the first time in too many years where I truly felt afraid, again the sickness?

Then I wrecked the bike, at slow speed at least. I went through what I thought was a muddy stretch of road between frozen ice fields and found out that under the mud was a sheet of ice. Hit that thing and flopped over like a dead fish, skidded off the road and hit an ice field, directly on the engine as I was falling down and flying over the handlebars. Amazing that I didn't get hurt, but the altitude had me exhausted and it took a good half hour to right the bike, all while freaked out and huffing and puffing. Another half hour down the road, still at high altitude and freaking, and the bike dies, completely. Apparently the impact broke the battery cells. I pushed it up the hill for a kilometre or more as I was on the downhill from the pass and I knew eventually I would descend. No cars on the road for 4 hours and no one to help. I was the only one at the border, earlier, who crossed that day.

An hour or so later, exhausted, and I rolled downhill without the engine for over ten miles to the military crossing for Argentina. We loaded the bike in a monster 4X4 transport van and the one hombre drove me to the first town, another 60 kilometres with me in the back of this rough riding troop transporter holding onto the friggin bike bouncing down the road. Nice huh? It was the longest, weirdest day I've had in years, but the bike is running again and I'm hitting it tomorrow for Mendoza, then direct to Santiago because I'm running on a dirt-bike battery and it barely starts my beast. Again, amazing, and grateful I wasn't hurt."

Here are some other pictures I found on the internet involving harleys sent to exotic places. 

CHINA

GREAT WALL OF CHINA

Stone Henge

If you had one of these you could go anywhere, a harley made for the military ( you may have seen one of these in the Harley Museum) 

Antigua Guatemala

CHRISTMAS CARD CONTEST

Its that time of year, and things are getting colder on the road, but none the less LRS is just getting heated up for the holidays.

Its time for a free windshield contest and here is how it works:

Submit to us a picture of your bike with a LRS shield to our Facebook page:   SUBMIT HERE 

Or email it to us at longrideshields@gmail.com

The winner of our contest will receive a windshield of their choice and everlasting bragging rights - As well they will be mailed out to over 10,000 LRS fans on our Christmas card.


RULES:

1. 5 image per entry maximum
2. Image of your bike only, no persons in picture
3. Must be submitted by 11-28-2014
4. Winner and next 2 runners up will be chosen for LRS Xmas card
5. 1st prize winner will receive 1 LRS windshield and 1 t-shirt.
6. No backgrounds that might prove controversial. (protests, parades, etc.)
7. Photos become property of LRS upon submission and will not be returned.
8. Runners up will receive free LRS T-Shirts of their choice.