The Real Biker Beard Story

They say diamonds are a girl's best friend, well beards are a woman's. Joelle Fraser, a contributing author to Long Ride Shields, has gone through the blood, sweat, and beards to tell the truth about this biker hair. -LRS

This blog is about beards. Odds are if you’re in the biker world, you’ve got a beard, and 9 out of 10 riders you see have one—from the tidy triangle to the Father Time face cape.  

Have you ever wondered what the ladies think about them?

After some (unscientific) polling, I’ve found that women have all kinds of opinions. One gal said with a wrinkled nose, “It’s a turn off. It’s like gray, scratchy cobwebs on the face.” Another said they remind her of “homeless people. I told my husband ‘No way.’” Yet another commented with a shrug, “I’m used to it.” And more than a few told me they loved their man’s mane. 

The consensus? Groomed is better. Of course, “groomed” means different things to different people—from sculpting the beard into a work of art to wiping away the globs of egg yolk.

For me, I’ve always preferred being able to see the outline of a man’s face, which disappears around inch 3 to 4. What chin? What jaw?

This topic has also been on my mind because it’s in my face. Literally. My boyfriend has a Biker Beard—a big one. One bandana is not enough to contain it on a ride; he has to shove a hunk of it into his shirt.

Before I go on, he approved this blog. (In fact, when my future biker book becomes a movie, he wants to play himself. He’s pretty cool that way.)

When we met five years ago he had a razor-edged goatee and his hair was about 1/4” long. Being a fan of the more scruffy look, I encouraged him to let his hair down. Careful what you ask for, Ladies!

Lately, with his long hair and beard, he’s Wolfman Jack; he’s a young, modern day Gandalf from Lord of the Rings. I could go on, but you get the point.

I’ve observed his gradual transformation with the nervous attention of one watching a neighbor’s once manicured garden slowly grow out of control, the grass knee high, the dandelions waving in the sun. Like that wild garden, there’s a certain beauty to the lush look of a man who’s thrown out the scissors and razors.

But still, I’ve had to adjust—what’s visible of his handsome face has shrunk to the size of a snorkel mask: forehead, eyes, nose, two small crescents of upper cheek. His lips are like buried treasure. Lying on his shoulder is a challenge. Sometimes it’s me vs. the beard—and the beard always wins.

But he loves it; he’s proud of it. And this is despite the extra work he has now. For example, eating BBQ is a bitch, and now there’s an array of hair products and constant grooming issues.

So I decided to do some research, because there was something more to this phenomenon, something emblematic of the biker world—that I needed to learn. I suspected it wasn’t only about vanity, or fashion.

The beard is part of the motorcycle lifestyle, but why? I believe that much of it comes down to this: Having a big beard is a sign that you don’t buy into the conventional. Most men who gravitated to the bike world after WWII, Vietnam, and the recent Middle East wars came back with a sense of “You, your bike, and your beard can hit the road.” And so they do. (I want to add here that some of the most bad-ass bikers I know are clean-shaven, which is another reason stereotyping is a bad idea.)

individualism—and often, rebellion. The white collar world wasn’t and isn’t always welcoming, seeming to say,

I think what’s hard for women is that we don’t have a corollary. Because there’s no female equivalent, beards—big or small—have a masculine purity that is impossible to ignore. Tattoos are as close as I can get, although men have them, too.  Yet I have endured the pain of the tattoo, and cherish what they mean to me. I have a sense of stubborn pride about them. I know in part of the world I live in, where I’m an English teacher, or at my son’s elementary school, my tattoos are seen as “other,” as strange, even trashy. The black streaks in my hair, my leather jacket, my cut-out shirts: all of this has become part of who I am in the biker world. Most people don’t understand. Nor do they understand my man’s beard when he walks in beside me to a college function. “Fine,” I think. Make your judgments, have your assumptions. This is who we are. -Joelle

Is Labor Day meaningless? ... Not anymore!

Many holidays throughout the year go unrecognized for what the day was meant to celebrate. Some people mistakenly believe it is just another day off of work, simply an excuse to fire up the grill, or even an extended weekend with the family. However the sad fact is that most of us have no clue as to what the holidays we are celebrating is really about.  This weekend we will be celebrating Labor Day, which is just such a holiday that has gone misunderstood for nearly two decades. Granted, every working stiff deserves a day off to relax and recreate, but where did the unofficial end of summer come from and why?

THE HISTORY OF LABOR DAY

Labor Day, an annual celebration of workers and their achievements, originated during one of American labor history’s most dismal chapters. In the late 1800s, at the height of the Industrial Revolution in the United States, the average American worked 12-hour days and seven-day weeks in order to create a basic living. Despite restrictions in some states, children as young as 5 or 6 toiled in mills, factories and mines across the country, earning a fraction of the adults wages. People of all ages, particularly the very poor and recent immigrants, often faced extremely unsafe working conditions, with insufficient access to fresh air, sanitary facilities, and breaks. Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. The first governmental recognition came through municipal ordinances passed during 1885 and 1886. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.

As manufacturing increased the wellspring of American employment, labor unions, which had first appeared in the late 18th century, grew more prominent and vocal. They began organizing strikes and rallies to protest poor conditions and compel employers to renegotiate hours and pay. Many of these events turned violent during this period.On September 5, 1882, 10,000 workers took unpaid time off to march from City Hall to Union Square in New York City, holding the first Labor Day parade in U.S. history. The Central Labor Union held its second Labor Day holiday just a year later, on September 5, 1883.

In 1884, the first Monday in September was selected as the holiday, as originally proposed, and the Central Labor Union urged similar organizations in other cities to follow the example of New York and celebrate a "workingmen's holiday" on that date. The idea of a “workingmen’s holiday” caught on in other industrial centers across the country, and many states passed legislation recognizing it.Congress would not legalize the holiday until 12 years later, when a watershed moment in American labor history brought workers’ rights squarely into the public’s view.

Who proposed this venture to recognize the working man? More than 100 years after the first Labor Day observance, there is still doubt as to who first proposed the holiday. Many credit Peter J. McGuire, General Secretary of the Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners and a co-founder of the American Federation of Labor, was first in suggesting a day to honor those "who from rude nature have delved and carved all the grandeur we behold." There are those who believe that Matthew McGuire, a machinist, NOT Peter McGuire, was the originally founder of the holiday. Regardless of who, what is clear is that the Central Labor Union adopted a Labor Day proposal and appointed a committee to plan a demonstration and picnic.


How should we recognize the men and woman this holiday represents? The form that the observance
of Labor Day should take was outlined in the first proposal of the holiday. There is to be a street parade to exhibit to the public "the strength and esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations" of the community, followed by a festival for the recreation and amusement of the workers and their families.

For many Americans, Labor Day symbolizes the end of summer. Why is that when fall begins weeks later. Labor Day is the last official major holiday before fall. No matter why or how you celebrate your Labor Day, please remember to be safe and enjoy the ride.

WHAT'S YOUR BIKER NAME?

So, John, you think it would be cool to have a road name? So
mething like “Thor” or “Big Guns” or “Torpedo”?

Well, careful what you ask for. I know a biker named “Limp Dick.” I know another guy named “Mouse” and gals called “Spitter” and “Batshit.”

The tradition to the biker name is this: you don’t pick it yourself. Nearly always you get named by someone else, which is part of the fun. No matter what you end up with—and be patient, it can take a while—it’s best to accept it and own it with a smile. Even “Limp Dick” had a patch made for his vest. You gotta love a guy for that.

In the end, who you are and what you do play a big role. So here are the most common ways folks get a road name:

1. Some incident on a ride, like a guy who earned the name “Slider”: He hit a patch of gravel with his back tire in a left hand turn. He stuck with it, slid up the slope of a hill, missing a tree, then laid her down on the upside of a gully. No damage to him or much to the bike.

“Split” earned his name for splitting lanes on a crowded freeway for more than a mile.

Sometimes the “incident” is less impressive. One guy was christened “Kickstand” because he forgot to put down his kickstand at a gas station, with about five girls as witnesses.

“Domino” also forgot to put down her kickstand—knocking over a row of bikes beside her.

2. Maybe it’s the way you ride. “Flinstone” wears out the soles of his boots when he puts his heels down through the low curves on his V-Rod. “Tippy” got her name because no matter what sport bike she rides, she can barely touch the ground. “Guardrail” rides close to the…yep you got it.

3. A distinctive personality trait. A biker called “Patch” got his name from a little party trick: he gives tequila shots out of his eye socket. A guy I know got the name “Shylock” because he’s super shy until he gets to know people.  A badass biker chick who’s been known to fight goes by “MyTy,” for Mike Tyson. “Elephant” never forgets anything. “Sideshow” has been known to cause a scene or two.

I know an “Evil Bob” and a “Crazy Mike,” (and when they’re both around, it’s sure to be a fun night).  

4. What you wear or look like. “Houlihan’s” nickname hails from Hot Lips Houlihan, from the TV show M*A*S*H.

“Bossy Boots” got her name from her tall boots she wears over tight jeans.

Another guy, who rides with a paralyzed arm, goes by Slotmachine.

They call one biker “Scraps” because he’s got a lot of scars.

5. Your bike. One female nurse who rides her own fatboy goes by “Voodoo.” Then you’ve got “Chopper Dave,” “Honda Sally,” “Panhead Fred,” and so on.

6. An animal you remind people of. “Snake Bite,” “Wolf,” “Big Dog,” “Goat,” “Bunny,” “Shark,” “Catfish” (who’s called “Catshit” when his buddies have had a few beers).

So how do you stack the odds for a good name? There’s not much you can do. Of course, you can come up with your own and try to get your buddies to use it. If that’s your plan, use one word or two: “Chief” is a lot easier to remember than “Eagle Who Soars With the Sun.” Also, words that rhyme are usually winners, like “Side Ride.”

But even when you do get a name, sometimes it takes a while to stick. If you have an unusual real name, like Cody or Cleo, your road name has less of a chance to make it than if your real name is Mike or Bob.

So, always introduce yourself by your  road name. If it feels awkward to say, “I’m Superman,” say, “They call me ‘Superman.’”  It also helps to use it on social media, making it part of your Facebook name, for example.

No matter what, you’ll always have a conversation piece.

Oh, they call me “Christmas.” I’ll tell you the story behind that one when I meet you on the road. Until then…

This blog was written by: Joelle Fraser - Contributor to Long Ride Shields (Author of Hard Rider Press)

The Naked Truth About OBD - ONLINE BIKER DATING

Joelle is the newest contributor to the LRS Blog, Her book of motorcycle stories is available on the Lrs website (Click Here)

Riding and Romance: The Truth About OBD -

by Joelle Fraser

Jim was tired of riding alone. Divorced, kids grown, he envied the couples he saw on the highway, together as one, sharing their passion. His buddies tried to set him up a few times, but that was a bust. And at bike events, all the women he was interested in were already taken.

Jim was lonely—and worried it was going to stay that way.

So, for almost a year, he tried online dating, posting a selfie beside his blue street glide, with a backdrop of the Pacific Ocean. After work, he’d view hundreds of photos and read profiles, sending messages with half-hearted hopes. Only a handful replied. Eventually, he met three women. They were intrigued by his bike and the idea of the biker lifestyle.

But, one by one, that interest faded.

“SarahSizzle” was terrified at any speed over 35 mph.

“Sweet Butterfly” wouldn’t go on any ride—even a day ride—without a saddlebag full of extra clothes, make-up and even a curling iron.

“Fun2BWith” said it hurt her back too much. She preferred a car, period.

Finally, Jim closed his accounts, sick of the hassle and the dashed hopes. Then his sister suggested Online Biker Dating, or OBD.  She told him these sites had the familiar options such as "Search by location," “Send Winks or Icebreaker,” “Chat Rooms,” and so on, but Online Biker Dating tailors dating to the motorcycle world.

For example, most OBD sites have cool features like “Bike Garage” and even a “Tattoo Gallery,” where you can upload photos of your bike and tats and give more of an impression of what kind of biker you are. These photos usually appear conveniently in two places to maximize your visibility: they’re in the gallery, and they’re on your profile with a link that reads, “View My Bike.”  Some sites even have “Biker Date Ideas” for those in need of inspiration, and “Create a Ride Event” for the more group minded.

Within days, Jim was connecting with women who loved bikes and wind as much as he did. They even had their own gear! No more coaching a woman how to put on chaps; no more complaints about helmet hair. No more explaining why his Harley meant everything to him. Every woman on the site loved riding.

It wasn’t all smooth sailing at first—he had to wade through a few sites to find one that was right for him. For one, he wanted a passenger, not a woman with her own bike. But like regular online dating (where farmers can go to FarmersOnly, and Christians can go to Christian Mingle), OBD has focused options.

For instance, if you’re a Harley guy—or gal—Harley Dating http://www.harleydatingsite.net

launched in 2011 and now has more than 160,000 members.  

Another site, Meet Local Bikers, http://www.meetlocalbikers.com is geared toward finding local singles and riding friends near you—you can search by state or even country—and also by category, like “Biker Moms.” This site is linked to other OBD sites, so that if you sign up with this one, you’ll overlap with others and widen your net. For the casually-minded, there’s even BikerSexHookUp, with over 4,000 monthly visitors to the site.

At last count, over 50 biker-related social/dating sites are just a few mouse clicks away. Actually, one of the premier sites, BikerKiss http://www.bikerkiss.com

with half a million registered users, has been around for almost 15 years, so OBD isn’t new.  Hopefully it will help you find the riding partner of your dreams.

In the meantime, here are some tips to increase your odds of success:

1. First impressions are brutal. People take about 3 seconds to decide to click on you or move on to the next person. So you’ve only got one shot.  The username is one of the first things your prospective date sees. If you email her, she’ll first see your username, photo and subject line of your email.

So don’t do something like this:

1. 
2. It's best to treat it just like a Facebook or any other social media. As in: don't take it too seriously. Set up your account and just give it whirl. It’s a numbers game. Don't get too attached to people's online profiles. Send out lots of messages—you'll get a few replies, and maybe a few will turn into dates. The first stage is just about initiating contact, not looking for the "perfect person" based on their online persona.
3. A huge mistake people make is the "Hey, What's up?" message. If that's all you're going to say, especially to a female, right off the bat, she’s probably not responding. She probably gets 10 of those a day. If you want to get a response, try to start a conversation: say something that shows you've read her profile. "Hey, What's up?" seems lazy, and usually leads to a very short, awkward conversation.

4.   People will make their way to your profile eventually. You'll go through slow periods with no views or single nights when you'll get three or four messages. Try not to attach self-worth to any of this.  If you're genuinely looking for a mate, then you have to expect it to take time. You'd expect it to take maybe a year to find the perfect job in your career field, why should your future spouse take any less?

5. If you're concerned about divulging your identity, not including your email address, phone number or age are the least of it. Using the same username as you use on Twitter or other platforms is another issue, as is using the same photo - with the ability to search via photo in Google you can find Linkedin profiles for folks with no otherwise identifiable info on dating sites. Providing too much detail about your work, school, etc. can also do it. Also, think twice about showing full-face pictures of your kids.
6. Don't spend all of your time on your profile complaining about online dating and endless talking about what you DON'T want. No one wants to date an angry, bitter person who doesn't even really want to be dating and that is what you come off like.

5. Look out for warning signs that someone is cheating or a time waster. People who don't post photos period or won't post them of their face are often up to no good, although that is not always true.

The cost is usually free to join, but in order to send messages or use other features, there’s a charge, usually under $30/month.

And Jim? He’s going on his third ride with “HardleyAnAngel” this weekend.

CLICK HERE TO BUY JOELLE'S BOOK

Matt's Top 5 Motorcycle Scenes from the Cinema!

Hi there again, this is Matt Gardner, founder of Long Ride Shields.

Many People don't know this about me but during college I Majored in Film, and to this day the movies are one of my favorite aspects of this life on earth! One of my favorite types of chase scenes is the Motorcycle Chase. Most chase scenes have some commonality in that there is usually good guy vs bad guy, or the opportunistic escaping protagonist taking advantage of the readily available motorcycle that just so happens to have the keys in it or the engine running, but what makes the motorcycle chase better than a car chase is the fact that you can squeeze the bike into places that a car wont go, or jump over things the adversary will simply crash into. Being an avid motorcyclist and a lover of films I wanted to share with you some of my favorites.

This all began a few nights ago while I was revisiting some silent films I loved during school and discovered a motorcycle scene that had been shot without many studio effects in full live action and it absolutely blew my mind away. It was from Buster Keaton's - Sherlock Jr. (1924) - I remember seing the same type of bike at the Harley Davidson Museum in Milwaukee and it dawned on me that this might be the first ever motorcycle chase scene filmed for entertainment.

I have decided to include it in this weeks list of the Top 5 motorcycle scenes of all time (According to me)



#1:     Sherlock Jr. (1924)

Simply Amazing, Talk about having guts, Keaton is famous for doing all his own amazing stunts. 

#2:   Great Escape (1963)

Everyone knows that Steve McQueen was and is the best motorcycle actor to ever grace the silver screen. 

#3: James Bond: Skyfall (2013)

I would have loved to be there when they were filming this in the Grand Bazar

#4 Escape to Athena (1979)

Note: you have got to love the scream from the guy falling from the tower, I believe that is the Wilhelm scream made famous by Star Wars and Indian Jones.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilhelm_scream


#5: Indiana Jones -

Note: Just so you know I have tried the umbrella bird thing, it works fairly well. Also if you haven't seen it Myth-busters tested the whole pole in the spokes thing and it doesn't exactly make your bike flip over, but it will mess you up!






Here is a video clip on the making of the new motorcycle scene in Jurassic World.

IF you have a favorite not mentioned in this blog post please email us your reference at longridesheidls@gmail.com

Riding with Style (Funny, Awesome, and Odd Helmets)

Although, helmets are not absolutely necessary when it comes to riding, many riders still consider the safety aspects of their apparel and even try to match their safety equipment with their own personalities. I, myself, would not don a helmet that was bright pink and sparkly. There is nothing wrong with the color or style, I just do not have the skin tone to compliment it. However, there are a few helmets that we have seen from around the internet that we would love to have in our collection of safety gear. ATGATT is an acronym for all the gear, all the time. This should pertain to your safety equipment as well, even your helmet.

   

Nana-nana-nana-nana-BATMAN!

Sleeker looking full helmet. Nice!

I have always thought that Batman was the greatest superhero ever. Not because he has some personal issues with crime and punishment, but because he was the only hero to make it into the Hall of Justice who didn't have super powers! Now, you too can become the night. Ladies, I heard this story for expecting mothers. If you name your newborn Gotham, you can always tell your husband, "Gotham needs you" if your newborn wakes up in the middle of the night.

There has been several posts of really talented artist using Sharpie makers to decorate their bikes and other vehicles. Here are some helmets that have a lot of details and designs that are hand drawn on helmets.

To get people to notice you smile when they are envious of your hog, why not show them how much fun you are having while they imagine being you from inside of their enclosed cage of metal and fiberglass. Show them that you are not only riding in style, but that you are having way more fun riding with one of these Smiley Face helmets. 

I AM IRON MAN!!!

Custom make your own helmet. 

For those of you who like to rock out to Black Sabbath's "I am Iron Man" while you ride, you can also look like Iron Man from the movies and turn heads wherever you go. Feel like a superhero as you arrive to your destinations. The custom helmet is reported to be easy to make (right picture above) and attaches to a standard helmet. If you have a Reevu helmet (a motorcycle helmet that uses mirrors in the helmet to see behind you), you can actually feel like Iron Man.

I had to geek out pretty hardcore when I saw this Star Wars - Storm Trooper helmet. As bad ass as it would be to be part of the largest fictional military in the universe, just the look of this thing is awe inspiring enough to get people to see you. This is definitely well made and stylish enough to show off your nerd level. These are not the droids you are looking for, but this may be the helmet you have always wanted. 

Transformers. More than meets the eye is the popular theme behind these movies, and now you can also represent the same theme with an Optimus Prime helmet. If you loved the movies, than this is how you can show the world.

Created by Jim Hensen, The Muppet Show aired in 1976 and continued until 1981. With a million jokes and satirical comedies, the show spun many movies and other shows that we all grew up with and loved. With these helmets, you can be your favorite muppet character and show the world your sense of humor.

Viking helmets and skull helmets can let other riders around you know that you are a horseman of the apocalypse. The great thing about viking horns and skins is that they are relatively easy to attach to a helmet. Unless you want to spend a couple hundred dollars on a custom helmet, the attachments are fairly inexpensive and fun to display. There are some that are even made of real bone too.

Here are a few other honorable mentions that are fun to look, and cringe at.

Getting noticed at night is now easier.

Mobile anatomy class

AAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Does not have a recurve windshield.

Do you have a custom helmet that you want everyone to see? Let us help you display it by sending us pictures of your helmet. We will post them to our Facebook and get you noticed.

Throttle Therapy! - Dealing with PTSD

Today is Memorial day, a day in which our country and its citizens pay tribute to the men and women who have paid the ultimate sacrifice in order to secure our liberty and way of life. In our efforts to pay our respect to these heroes we asked one of our most respected customers to come in for an interview and to give us his thoughts on this day and its significance to motorcyclist across the country.

"John" - is a veteran of more than two decades and has served with distinction while in the army, and working in the shadows for an "Other Government Agency" our hero, who has asked for anonymity, has been there and done that to include working EOD as a Special Forces soldier in South America. He has had his own close calls and if you buy him a beer will tell you some of the coolest stories you ever heard. In our opinion "John" is one BAMF.

During our interview we talked about a lot of things that had tremendous meaning with regards to our military today, and those who bore the sacrifices of battle, however we touched on one very important theme that we feels bears repeating and that we know will resonate with bikers across the world.

Throttle Therapy!  - Dealing with PTSD

We asked john why he rides a motorcycle to begin with (he has four of them), his answer was simple:  
"You will never see a motorcycle parked outside a Therapists office!" he said,

After discussing what "John" meant he explained more, and in so many words reminded us that those that die are not the only casualties of war; PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is something that most soldiers bring home with them and in many circumstances it can ruin their lives even as if they were dead, and in the worst scenarios has led some to take their own lives.

"Throttle therapy is my way of dealing with the stress of this world" John told us - " when I'm on that bike I am in Control, I have the reigns and the bike responds to my commands, yet in the some manner I am at the mercy of the road, I am free for the next few hours as I ramble down the road. During that time I'm not thinking about my problems or the past, I'm in the moment and I'm in control."

If you are reading this post then you are most likely ride a motorcycle, if you ride then you know exactly what "John" meant, riding a motorcycle is the Ultimate escape, the ultimate freedom, and to those like "John" who need to deal with their demons, Throttle Therapy may be one of the best ways to hold on and make your way through life.

It's no wonder to us at LRS why so many current and former members of the Armed Services ride motorcycles, and we know exactly what feelings and sense of satisfaction comes with the lifestyle, and so today on Memorial Day we will ride, and we will be reminded of those , who like "John" have made sacrifices for our freedom, We hope that today you heroes will also ride and be free!

Thank You from the deepest part of our biker hearts, we respect you, we honor you and our fallen, please ENJOY THE RIDE!